I’ll Show You Mine, If….

It was about a week ago when my dear friend, Andrea texted me, “Can I see your boobs?” I immediately, said “sure! I’ll even let you feel them!”

To you that might sound outrageous, but if you were in our shoes, it’s totally the norm. I don’t see Andrea every day, nor do we talk to each other every day, but we have a bond that connects us and makes us a good pair. Thank you, Cancer for bringing her into my life. Andrea is on a different journey than me. She is having chemotherapy first and then her mastectomy. So I totally understand where she is coming from with all of the questions, because I had the same ones. What is the process, what will they look like, will I still have my nipple, what about feeling….so many questions!? Thankfully, I had Chiloe, Sarah and Dr. Jordan to go to with all of my questions, but now it’s my turn to pay it forward and help another breast cancer warrior. So yes, I showed Andrea my breasts today and yes, I did allow her to feel them. (John’s face was priceless!)

This is going to sound crazy to you too, but I look forward to my treatment days! (I only have 8 left!) I miss my friends and my work family like crazy, but on Wednesdays I get to see an amazing group of nurses and other cancer patients- my other friends. It has been so fun getting to know each and every one of them and it is so nice to have face to face interactions with other people, even though we have to wear masks.

Just finished a 5k

Anyhow, I feel like I can’t write a blog post without mentioning COVID-19 and how much it has impacted my life. My white count dropped again today, thankfully only by .1, but it still means I need to make sure me and my family are limiting any unnecessary exposure… and now with confirmed cases in Brown County it means we really need to be even more careful. Besides limiting our contact, I am trying to work from home, be an exceptional wife and mother, take time for myself and mental health, and be present and patient. It’s a short but tough list some days.

With potty training behind us, we are now able to find our new routine, our rhythm. It wasn’t only bothering my children, but it was also bothering me. It was stressing me out. How am I supposed to get any work done and still be a present parent? Well, I decided to get myself a new routine: I wake up earlier to get a couple hours of work in, I work during quiet time and then again after the kids are in bed. Once the kids are up I work on my gratitude list and spend 40 minutes getting my workout in. As for the kids: they have breakfast, play time with daddy, walk or ride to get the mail, play outside, lunch, quiet time, play time, snack, learning time, supper time, snuggle time, bed. They are happier and I am happier.

On a quick note, thank you Ashlee, we now have a family gratitude list to fill out on a daily basis! Hopefully that means Rowyn will now leave my Start Today Journal alone, although I do appreciate her enthusiasm for wanting to be like mommy. (It is so important to instill those good habits in our children- move your body, practice daily gratitude and much, much more.) A couple things I’ve been thankful for lately: I am so grateful for our extra time together as a family <3. (Even though they take turns tormenting each other. Even though the require me to be on my toes at all times. Even though they have temper tantrums. Even though they wear me out.) I am grateful for the reminder from my children that they don’t require anything expensive or extravagant to bring them joy- it’s the attention and extra time spent together.

With that said, Tyler is getting ready to get in the field and the kiddos could not be more excited. I’m not sure who likes farming more… Rowyn, Samuel or Tyler? Rowyn is all about being outside exploring and looking at farm equipment. Samuel can name almost every piece of equipment and what it is for and well Tyler, he’s our specialist! He gets to answer all the questions, “… right daddy?” “…What is that daddy?” “Can I get a ride?” It makes my heart so happy to watch the kids with Tyler. We are definitely a farming family and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Well my friends, I’m going to leave you with a few takeaways:

  1. Pay it forward when you can
  2. Keep a routine
  3. Practice gratitude
  4. Be patient
  5. Embrace the chaos
  6. Stay in touch, but ensure social distancing
  7. Prayers are appreciated for my friends down in the Virginia Piper Cancer Institute (NUMC) and for my sister-in-law, Ashlee.

Love and hugs,


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