- the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.
- the presence rather than the absence of a certain substance, condition, or feature.
Wow! I usually only think of positivity as a personal attribute, but when I look at both definitions it is all encompassing for me… and that sucks!
You know those depression commercials, where the person with depression is hiding behind a mask? Well, sometimes I feel that way. Although, I do usually spend most of my days spent genuinely being positive and upbeat, but I’m human too and it’s ok to feel, Meh. See this photo –> It’s on one of my Meh days and it’s probably the most flattering photo Tyler has taken of me while I’m crashed, down and out for the count. (Bless the hearts of those who have seen the “bum” photos of me!)
My 3rd round of Red Devil had me in bed Thursday afternoon through Sunday late morning. I had joint pain, a headache, nausea and fatigue. My diet consisted of celery with cheese, fresh carrots, popcorn, water, ginger ale, Compazine and my CBD + CBG oil from Crested River.
Those three days left me feeling not at all like myself. I was more emotional, easily agitated, and just sick of feeling like crap, but thanks to my friend Rachel Hollis and her list of Self-Love Affirmations, I was back on the right track:
- I believe in myself
- I am worthy
- I am brave
- I love my body for everything it has done for me
- I love who I am becoming
- I choose to be happy
- I am strong
- I will strop apologizing for things I can’t control
- I am beautiful
- I love myself
Really quick, I want to say for those of you suffering everyday with chronic pain or other debilitating illness, my heart goes out to you. You are the real heroes!
By Tuesday, I was finally feeling better and back to myself. So much that on some days you could find me on the treadmill getting my jog on! It felt so good, but one thing I’ve noticed is that most of my days depended on my positive mindset and the positive people that fill my life. A mindset is a belief that orients the way we handle situations- the way we sort out what is going on and what we should do. One last fact about mindsets is that there are seven of them: Everything Is Possible, Passion First, We Are Connected, 100% Accountable, Attitude of Gratitude, Live to Give, and The Time Is Now. What mindset did you choose today?
I am a firm believer that our mindset and our attitude is our choice. With that said, I always get nervous for chemotherapy, but I just have to remind myself that with every treatment I am one step closer to the top of my mountain. Yesterday I couldn’t have been more excited to kiss the Red Devil good-bye! I went into the day with an Attitude of Gratitude (I am so thankful for my Girl Gang) and The Time Is Now (I am an OVERCOMER!) With my friends by my side what was there for me to worry about? Sure, after every treatment I feel like shit, but that’s not how I felt yesterday, my friends brought and kept feeding the room with positive energy, bagels, mimosas sunglasses and kiss kazoos. I was on cloud nine! As my sister-in-law mentioned yesterday, “your friends are magical!” They most certainly are and I am so grateful that God has put them in my life.
Cancer sure does suck, but it makes the positive things in my life shine so much brighter. I am grateful for the good days, my girl gang, my husband, my family, the Wednesday chemotherapy group- Matt and Andrea, the prayer warriors and the way it has changed me as a person. So here I go, I’m going to say it. Thank you, Cancer.
Some days I really wonder, how did I get so lucky? Thank you all so much for your continued support, thoughts, prayers, food and well wishes. My family is so grateful!
If you are interested in helping out, there is a meal train plus website that was created. You can pick a day to bring a meal, buy gift cards or simply donate. Please do not feel obligated, prayers and good vibes are welcome too!
If you are wondering what’s next, it’s a float session at Calm Lake Floats and then it’s 12 weekly rounds of Taxol.
Mark your calendars… My last day of chemotherapy is May 27th!
Love and Hugs,
Sara, Tyler, Samuel and Rowyn